| 3 August 1873
I was never so frightened as I am now. They have left me sitting in the dark, with only the light from the window to write by. They have put me in my own room, they have locked the door on me. They wanted Ruth to do it, but she would not. She said ‘What, do you want me to lock up my own mistress, who has done nothing?’ In the end the doctor took the key from her and locked the door himself, then made her leave me. Now the house is full of voices, all saying my name. I might be waiting for Mrs Brink to come and take me down to a dark circle, and Madeleine or any girl might be there, blushing, thinking of Peter, of Peter’s great dark whiskers and shining hands. But Mrs Brink is lying quite alone in her own cold bed, and Madeleine Silvester is downstairs weeping in a fit. And Peter Quick is gone, I think for ever. He was too rough, and Madeleine too nervous. When I told her I could feel him near she only shook and kept her eyes shut. I said ‘It is only Peter. You are not frightened are you, of him? Look, here he is, look at him, open your eyes.’ But she would not do that, she only said ‘O, I am terribly afraid! O Miss Dawes, please don’t have him come any closer!’ |