I was aware of being shy and without confidence from a very early age. I think perhaps it was because I got too much attention as a child for being cute! I would have my head ruffled every time an elderly family relative or friend came to visit: I hated that and I was regularly subjected to cheek pinching which I put down to being so tiny in stature when compared to the rest of my family.
So, as the years rolled by and I reached my teenage years, my shyness or whatever afflicted my soul was at its cringing peak and raging inwardly out of control.
Instances that come to mind involved of course my school years, which although in the main steady, were also deeply painful and awkwardly shy and without confidence. I can still recall the times when I used to want to run away and hide; or just to go home, put on pyjamas and get into bed. I would call these my ‘pyjama moments’ and I endured many of these, I can tell you.
And for what? For being embarrassed and shy! It got in the way of holding down any natural conversation with people. Especially when I wanted to perform well in my academic studies.
I used to dread being asked to read aloud in class. I would blush profusedly and then I couldn’t read the text properly and then, well I would feel even more ashamed and shy!