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Creative Writing Bolton: More 50 word tales- Little Momma

Little Momma left them in June.

Most days they dropped by, concerned she might miss them. 

They quit work. 

They listened hard; softly too. 

”Hold to thy faith,” intoned Pastor  Paul.

Clarence stared at the new earth and gave thanks. 

He returned to her car and took out a spade. 

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Once again, I find that text tales are easy on a smartphone! I enjoyed this one, deciding to make it  ever so slightly ‘Southern Gothic’ thus changing ‘Reverend Paul to ‘Pastor Paul’ to keep the Southern spirit in mind! 

I also  ‘borrowed’ the verb ‘intoned’ from Mansfield’s Daughters of the Late Colonel as there is something piously assured about such a verb!  The debate between whether it should be ‘miss’ or ‘cold’ in the second line reflected my concern with clues and when to release them. If the line had read: ‘concerned she might be cold’ then perhaps death would have been too apparent to the reader and I preferred ‘stared’ to ‘gazed’ because  the alliterative echo of ‘gazed’ and gave’ seemed a little overcooked. Once again, the ‘thrift’ of the short tale proved great fun and a challenge.  ‘His’ car or ‘hers’..decisions go on! 

strange shit

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