Tiger tiger burning bright.
Stephen Soames preferred fear to all other emotions. He liked to smell it on his guests who pretended they preferred his collection of roaming wild animals to the domestic creatures they pampered in their homes. ‘Wonderful’ they chorused as they fought off nausea, and hurtled around his vast estate close to God’s Own Country.Soames smirked and drove with extra abandon, taunting every creature with his swerving and accelerating until nothing alive felt safe.Then one day his luck failed. Or succeeded depending on whose side you might be on. The Jeep’s steering developed a fault and within the blink of an eye, all the passengers found themselves upside down in the middle of a barren field with a group of vultures overhead and a recumbent Tiger beneath a nearby tree for company.‘Oh dear,’ said Soames bleeding from a head wound and unable to find a tissue.No one answered in the back as they were either unconscious or dead.Well, they craved excitement, now they have it, thought Soames and complacently pressed his red SOS button.
Unfortunately, his manager, Anthony Jones was now on a zero-hours contract and was wildly in love so he didn’t notice the flashing light until five hours later. By that time Eric the Tiger had sauntered over to the Jeep and enjoyed a full English Breakfast before letting the vultures do their worst or best depending upon the moral of the story.
